MY LOVELY OLIVER  / Eileen Hughes (his nanny )
4 YEARS HAVE GONE BY OLIVER AND NOT A DAY GOES PAST THAT I DONT THINK OF YOU YOU ARE THE FIRST THING I SEE WHEN I WAKE AS YOUR BIG PHOTO IS STARING AT ME I LOVE TO SEE YOUR SMILE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING IT HELPS ME GET THROUGH THE DAY YES I CRY ALL THE TIME AND MEDIUMS TELL ME TO STOP CRYING FOR YOU BUT ITS TO HARD TO DO BECAUSE I MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH TIME IS NOT A GREAT HEALER AS THEY SEEM TO THINK TIME IS NOTHING BECAUSE NOTHING CHANGES POPPY IS A VERY SPECIAL LITTLE GIRL AND I KNOW SHE SEES YOU OLIVER HISDING THROUGH THE BANNISTERS SHE SEES YOU ALL THE TIME DONT SHE? AND CORAL THEY BOTH KNOW YOUR CLOSE BY WATCHING OVER THEM AND PROTECTING THEM BOTH ID ALSO LIKE TO SEE YOU WHOLE AGAIN ID LIKE YOU TO COME TO ME OLIVER AND SIT WITH ME JUST FOR A WHILE THAT WOULD BE MY BIGGEST WISH TO SIT WITH YOU AGAIN BUT I KNOW YOU ARE BUSY HELPING TO LOOK AFTER OTHER CHILDREN WHO HAVE GONE TO SPIRIT WORLD AND ITS YOUR JOB TO HELP THEM YOUR A VERY SPECIAL LITTLE MAN TO US ALL YOU SHOWED US SO MUCH OLIVER I REALISE THATS WHY YOU CAME JUST FOR A SHORT WHILE I UNDERSTAND NOW WHY YOU WENT BACK HOME SO EARLY YOUR JOB WAS DONE HERE WASNT IT BUT BOY IT HURTS US BEING LEFT BEHIND OLIVER IT HURST SO VERY MUCH AND THE TEARS NEVER STOP NOT TILL WE ARE ALL TOGETHER AGAINXXXXX I WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU SWEETHEART TILL WE MEET AGAIN OLIVER NITE NITEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Close

4yrs............miss-in you x  / Kim Hughes (mummy an best friend )

hey lil man cant beleive its 4yrs today since youv been gone it feels like it was just yesterday the pain is so raw yet in other ways it feels so long ago since i saw you im missing you so so much lifes just not the same an i geuss it never will be.

i geuss iv had to face some of my worst fears this past week today being here where you passed has been horrific flash backs all the time an thinkin of you an what we went through over the past few days but 4yrs ago i never ever wanted to be here on your aniversary but i geuss iv had no choice an its done now.

i sat in the chapel today sobbing so hard at seeing your name thier in print in the book its just awful too see so hard yet i geuss i had to face it i wish so hard i could just have you back just to hug you an have you squeeze me like you used too so hard you were my baby my best freind my little boy an i will always miss you more than i will ever miss anything ollie. you taught me alot you taught me fear you taught me how precious life is you taught me how to make the most of things to grin an bare it most of all you taught me what being a mum was all about after you went i didnt feel like i was a mum anymore you were gone an i had nothing but i am still your mum an always will be an one day ollie me an you will have our cuddles again baby i promise you that.

i miss you so so much lifes very hard without you baby just miss you so much. 

hope you liked your flowers an teddy!

love you with all my heart lil man an more besides. always an forever your mummy xxxxxx

 

Close

Although I never met you...  / Lena -Olivia,Charlie &. Angel Jack's Mum (Friend of your mummy )
Hey Ollie I know I never met you but your mum has told me all about you and what a wonderful strong loving little fella you are.

I know your mum and dad will be really in need of love and strength especially today spending it in hospital with your beautiful sister.

So although it's rather cheeky because you don't know me I am asking you to wrap those Angel wings around Mum Dad Poppy and Coral and send them all the strength and love they need right now.

Your story touched my heart I can see you never really went away you live on in so many hearts all the ones you touched along your way. 

God bless you little man and all those who have loved and lost.

Kim I hope you can find some comfort today you are always in my thoughts and as I didn't know Ollie I thought I pay tribute to you instead.

You are an amazing mum so strong so dedicated to your family.  I am honored to know you and I am thinking of you always.

...and Poppy bless you keep fighting you have a special Guardian Angel watching over you holding your hand guiding you through this tough few months.  Be strong little one and please go home soon!

Love to all.
Close

almost christmas again  / Mummy Xxx Loves You Xx (best friend and mummy x )

hey my lil man missing you so much at the moment keep crying just wish to god you were here the girls tak about you lots pops envys you thats for sure.....youv seen mickey an minnie mouse!!! she loves looking through your pictures! oh an geuss what you'll hate this lol.....the have a PINK xmas tree!!!!! i no i no your blue ones still going up too and we have a gorg lil chelsea one for your garden! you'll love it!

so hard this time of year without you struggling so much so bloody miserable but so hard not to be i just miss you.

jims realy poorly ollie so i need to be strong fo him an nanny an grandad too. hope your helpin jim keeping him goin talking to him. whys life so hard ah bubs? im so tired an drained with the emotion just wish you was here it would take my pain away. wish i could at least see you one last ime where the hell has 4 bloody yrs gone you'll be 9 this year you werent even 5 when you went.

why did you have to go ollie? il never why at such a baby age you had to go you was an still are mummys bubs. i love you ya no more than life. il never be me again never be that happy go lucky kim that i was always sad without you. i miss you ollie so much it hurts mummy.

love you more than as many houses thier is in the whole world! (you always said that!!!)

love you xxxxxxxxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

Close

Angel Oliver  / Jill, Gav &. Tardi (chenille) (Family friends )
Hello Ollie!

Well as you can see I'm writing this in "Chelsea Blue" Just for you as I know you'd kick me up the bum if I used anything other (especially pink lol)

Ollie you are missed so very much by ALL your family Mummy really struggles Ollie she puts on a front for everyone and Poppy and Coral but that sadness in her eyes is clear to see and nobody can take her pain away. Your Grandad is the "strong" one ut hurts oh so much inside and your Nanny plods along with her usual smile and laugh but she hurts so badly deep inside.

Jordan misses you terribly too and when we speak about you the laughter comes at the lovely memories they have of you but then you can see the realisation set in that you're not here anymore It's heartbreaking to watch him. Blayne as you know is the quiet one lol! But he's not quiet when it comes to telling anyone about his Ollie and I think as he's getting older he is realising now that you actually are not coming back from heaven he has your picture by his bed too God he misses you babe! Then there is Lisa and her lot lol! It doesn't matter how many Lisa has your that missing piece in her family jigsaw Ollie. And then there is Shim (Jamie) he misses his "Maggot" so much he really struggles too.

We were all talking about you the other night Ollie and I know you were listening as those lights were going mental in your nannies house! You see we visit your Nanny Grandad Mummy Jordan Shim Blayne Poppy & Coral so much lately as Chenille AKA Tardi is dating your Blayne!! What do you think of that?!?! Poppy and Coral love it when she comes over and her nickname is Tardi lol! Chenille has not only fell in love with your Blayney but she has also fell in love with your baby sisters too (as we all have).

I know you sent Paul to Poppy when she was in great ormond st last week you took care of her and made sure she had the best care didn't you?!? You're their guardian Angel and always will be Ollie. So I'm just asking you to keep an extra eye out for them all at the moment (you know why) give them all strength Ollie please they so need all the strength they can get right now.

Love you lil man! Here is a little poem for you.....

You handsome little boy
bet you've grown so much
you're still very much around
with your angelic touch
a sign on a car plate
a flashing of the light!
a gentle little whisper
in the darkness of night
you may not be here
for our eyes to see
but your spirit is around
that is clear to me.







Close

What a heartbreaking story of a beautiful Angel.  / Lena Court (friend to mum thru EDS )
Kimberley

I had to drop by you know how it is my god girl you have been through so much people say these things happen for a reason I am still searching for that reason as I am sure you are too.  To have loved and lost one child to medical conditions is enough for any parent to bare but to have more children like we both have and be bombarded with yet more medical problems - you have to ask WHY?

Your gorgeous Oliver chose you to be his mum like Jack chose me.  For that we are both honoured for having such wonderful boys in our lives.  We both have the heartache of not being able to hold them but I am sure Oliver is always with you like Jack is with me.  The bond between mothers and their children can never be broken.

I like to think Jack is Olivia's guardian Angel watching over her in theatre holding her hand being at her side guiding her and bestowing his strength determination courage and love in her.  I bet Oliver is there doing the same with Poppy. 

I think had they met on earth they would be great friends so maybe they have met in heaven and are playing happily together for eternity.

I will never understand the reasons why some people have said it's because we have so much to give that we are chosen to be the parents of poorly children I don't know. 

All I do know is I share your feelings of being honoured to be his mum and that no matter how much time passes the wounds in your heart and soul never heal the emptiness deep inside can never be filled until we meet them again in heaven.

Thank you for sharing Oliver with me he is and always will be a beautiful little boy and he will lend his strength to you when you need it most.  He'll never be far away.  Love and hugs to you. XXX Close

love you so much baby x x x  / Mummy Loves U. X.

HEY LIL MAN.... was just sitting here an it hit me like a ton of bricks AGAIN like it just happend your gone your not here an i hate it miss you so so much baby. lifes just never gonna be the same im trying so hard to have more goods than bad but its so hard  it hurts so much all i want is a kiss an a hug an to have you back. want you back more than anything i would give up anything to have you back. i love you so so much ollie an i always will.

love you lil man......mummy x x 

 

 

Close

oliver / Emma Goodchild
Hi Kimberely Long time! Cant beleive this happened to such a beautifull little man such a loss. Be strong and he will always be in your life lots of love Emma xxxx Close

loving you, missing you, xxxx  / Mummy Xxxx (ollies best friend eva xx )

hey my lil pickle, i miss you so much lil man, havin a hard time at mo, missing you so so much bubs, i still to this day dont get it, i dont get how a little person, right in front of me, my baby, so real,can be just gone like this. somedays i just feel like im going mad, like i smile an nod in all the right places, when i want to realy just scream an cry.

i want to go back 3yrs, i want take you out of hosp an change all this, iif you werent in gosh then maybe you wouldnt have caught those infections an you'd be here. i just want you back ollie, i want to hug you an kiss your lil nose. i wana here you say you love mummy, an hug me tight like you used too. it juts hurts so much ollie.

i wish i could just stay in bed an sleep away the years, i juts want to see you again. its so hard ollie, just getting through each day without you. i hate it.

me n pops were up your garden the other day, she loves it up thier, she was waving an saying bye to you an your footie ball lol, she loves you thomas snow globe too. we sat up an paled for a bit, it was a lovely hot day.....dunno why im telling you know, you were thier.

love you my picke....nite nite xxxxxxx

 

 

 

 

 

Close

missing you so much bubs xx  / Mummy X.

hey ollie, im struggling so much, i miss you more than ever, but im expected to just be normal now, be getting on with it, dont feel i can have a bad day, if i do im asked constantly, whats wrong, why am i moody? why do i need to be asked these day? thats what i dont get, yes its been 3 yrs, but so what!!! am i supposed to be feeling better then? am i supposed to be over it or something? because im not!!!!! i miss you more than ever, this pain has not changed one bit, it hurts so bad. i juts feel i cant just cry all day i have to be strong, an get on with it! some days i just get so angry.......why should i pretend im fine, for others benefit!! when im NOT!!!

so glad i can sit in the bath every night an cry, least im left alone then.

summer time again lil man, onr of your fave times ah, you loved it, top off at the 1st sign of the sun, you loved it, you loved the beach an days out! went to legoland recently, i sat an cryed all the way, it hurt so much, i remember going with you, got teh photos of you going on the cars an getting your driving license, you loved it! it broke my heart going back thier, i wish so much you could be here, just wana feel you again, cuddle you, kiss you, god ollie i miss you more than il ever miss anything bubs. why did you have to go? im so sick of feeling like this, it hurts so much.

mummy misses you, you no that anyway though, dont you. love you bubs  x x  xx x

 

 

Close

Oliver / Cherilyn Doyle

I am sat in tears after looking at this website,your Oliver was a very special little boy,he was so brave.

God bless xxxx

Close

ollie your so speical  / Loren Griffiths (none)

I have just read about you life ollie and your such a cool man ,you are special mate ,don't forget it. i send you a big love and wish you could wipe away my tears. love loren and kids xxxxxxxxxxxx

Close

sometimes...........-.... / Kim X. (ollies mummy xxx )

sometimes i think how can this be real?  sometimes i feel like iv gone mad, because how can someone, so cute, warm an funny, be right thier in front of you, and then just be laying thier so still, then just gone??? i dont understand sometimes.

sometimes the pain is so unbearable i feel i wont be able to breathe, like its been sucked out of me. sometimes i manage to get through a day, smiling, sometimes real smiles, sometimes its just hiding my pain. i look at your pics, and you look so real, like i could reach in and touch you, kiss your lil nose, an hug you tight. but.....it breaks my heart, sometimes......its just to unbearable to look at them, it hurts just too much.

sometimes i just wonder if i can carry on......if i can keep on coping.

i miss you ollie, so much, i cant even explain how much i love and miss you. i wish you were here. na-nite, mummy xxxx

 

Close

3yrs baby xxxxx  / Mummy X. (ollies mummy xxx )
3 yrs ago today oliver was in picu on a vent in a coma realy fighting hard for his life, he hadnt been resussed once yet, and we were so hopeful that he'd pull through, i never ever could have imagined spending these last 3yrs without him. That night at 10pm, was the real fight for him though, he crashed and needed defib's to resuss him, and my world came crashing down, after that 1st 2 times of resuss, that was it, i knew i was gonna lose him, i was so scared to even look at him, it was like he was gone already, he just looked different, my heart was breaking, i was begging, screaming an pleading that god, if he were listening to me, would somehow save him, but that night progressed where he ended up on dialysis which did start to work, an finaly we though he would turn a corner, the docs and nurses were cheering as his bp started to rise to normal levels! but they were to happy, and due to them weaning his meds down that were keeping him alive, they made a mistake, and they mistake cost me my son. that night oliver had 8 resusses, and at 8.50am on the 27th he went for that last time, after 20mins of trying they just gave up, they gave up and walked away. i was left with my life in tatters, and nothing......i was no longer a mum, in fact i didnt even know who i was. my life had consisted of ollie, and without him i was nothing. that day i became someone who i didnt even know. i had changed in that minute.

i sat next to him in a nhs ambulance as we were taken to the hospice, by now, it was about 3pm, driving through london it was snowing, i was hugging his teddy, and just looking at all those people, oblivious to what i was going through, all juts going to or from work, shopping etc, time was still moving for them, and at that moment i realised that no matter what, the clock still ticks, life still goes on, no matter how much i wanted to stay thier, with ollie, and just be with him, at some point id be alone. I felt so helpless, and i realy thought id never get through it. but the clock ticks and somehow iv got through 3 hard yrs without him i just dont know how, and you know what???? i miss him as much today as i did then, in fact i miss him more, i last spoke to ollie on the 26th at 10;15am 2006, i said i love you baby an he said "love you millions mummy." those words and memories, and his pics, and toys etc are all i have left. love you babym your mummy xxxxxx Close

another christmas goes by ...................  / Mummy Xxxx Missing You So Muchx (mummy and best friend xx )

hey lil man, you know, i cant believe that its christmas again, i cant beleive that your still not here, 3 years almost now, an its so hard ollie, so hard. i cant even describe how much i love and miss you, the pain is so heavey on my chest. i wish more than anything in the whole world, that you were here now. now we have a diagnosis for you and poppy, i feel i let you down, i should have screamed, shouted at the drs, to do more, an maybe you would have still been here. so unfair, that you had to suffer nearly 5 yrs, all for nothing, an now your juts gone.

i look at your little face in my photos, and i just cant believe it still, i cant beleive that your gone, so unfair.

we put a christmas tree up outside for you and put lights on it too! and we put your tree up indoors, an got you some new blue lights too. you will love them!! chelsea blue! and we bought you a new chelsea football too, a bigger one!

christmas day will be so hard, i have to smile an be happy for the girls as it xmas for them too, an you used to love xmas and i no you would want them to love it too, but i no im going to be breaking my heart inside, wishing so hard that you could be here.

i love you so much ollie, miss you with all my heart, an you are never never forgotten baby. love you more than as many houses thier is!! (your saying still gets said!) love you ollie, your mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

 

Close

ANOTHER CHRISTMAS WITH OUT YOU OLIVER  / Eileen Hughes (his nanny )
hey our ollie 3 christmas now you been gone, its no different since the first minute you went, it wont ever be the same, our little star shines bright up above i used to sing twinkle twinkle little star to you when you stayed over with us, you will always be my star ollie, you bought so much love when you came even though it was along stay, you made people see that being dissabled didnt mean your life will stop you did so much in such a short time oliver you cramed it in i wonder did you know?? maybe you did, but those wonderful angels came and took you home and when we all pass we will be together forever oliver i hope you have alot to show me when i come there, we can have such alot of fun, but till then we have to remember our memories of you being here with us and we have many, you made us laugh you made us cry oh but what a wonderful little man you were, so brave all you went through stay close oliver keep your sisters well guard them oliver we love them so much sweetie, stay by them when they are ill in hospital send them healing every day love you for ever my ollie wish you were here with us but your not till we all meet again nanny  xxxxxxxxxxxxx Close

mummys missing you baby x  / Mummy Xx (mummy and best friend x )

hey lil man, missing so much ollie, everyday, i wake up and have to smile, and look like im fine, when all i want is you back, i miss you more than anything ever. i STILL to this day, can not believe that you are even gone. sometimes it just hits me like a ton of bricks, crushing my chest.

christmas again ollie, just cant believe its come round so quick. i always think of our last christmas together,how you opened your presents in hospital, and you had loads, yet we still had a ton more at home!! you got your snooker table, you loved it, you just didnt get a chance to play with it much, as you had to go into gosh.

i wish you were here ollie. i hate having to pretend to be fine, but its almost 3yrs and people expect that i should be OK by now, but im not, how can i be, i miss you too much. you are my only little boy.

love you more than ever ollie. miss you, more than as many houses thier is.

your mummy xxxxxxx

 

 

 

 

Close

mummys missing you lil man x  / Mummy Loves You Forever (mummy and best freind xxx )

hey ollie, missing so much, we went away for the weekend to the lakes with poppy and coral and scott, it was nice, but still so sad, you should have been here with us. we saw some great waterfalls, you would have loved them!! poppy did!

nany and grandad went to turkey, where we went with you, we were meant to go but poor poppy was too sick, but in a way im glad, id been crying alot, was finding it hard as it was reminding me lots of when we went. w had a great time, and i knwo i would have spent all the time remembering that holiday we had. you learnt to swim that holiday, you loved it!! lil monkey you wer, you kept going under the water.

please ollie, just know im always thinking of you always, havent been able to write to you much lately as poppys been very poorly in hosp after her operation again. but iv never not once not thought of you, i even freaked out when she went to picu, i just had awful flashbacks of when you wer thier, just so hard baby. miss you so so much.

been in your room alot lately, keep looking through your toy boxes, dont know why or what im looking for, just keep having a nose. funny how all your toys are just thier still, and your not, sometimes it just dosnt make sense. liek its still just not real, like you'l just come back one day.

i wish.

night lil man , love you forever, mummy xxx ( love you more than as many houses thier isxx)

 

 

 

 

Close

HELLO GORGEOUS  / WENDY BONELLA (MUMMYS FRIEND )

Was sitting thinking of your mummy and you and your little sisters. they are coming on so good your mummy came to see me with them it was so good to see them, i know i didnt know you but wish i did i hear you were a right little character, i know your mummy is heartbroken without you and needs you to look after her and the girls which i know you are doing, i know you are with my boy tell him i love him and miss him unbeleivably , your mum and me miss you both so much it hurts like mad.

 

so you and darren take care of each other till we are with you both again , when we get you back we will never ever let you and darren go again.

 

love wendy  baby darrens mummyxxxxxx

Close